Eating A Lot, A Dad’s Work

When I was growing up, I always looked up to my dad and the sheer amount of food he could ingest in one sitting. Me and my two brothers would watch, our forks stuck in our mouths as we watched our seconds turn into his thirds and fourths. As much as I wanted by seconds, I was more in awe of his ability to make food disappear.

So when I became a dad, I thought it was my job to eat as much as I could as fast as I could. Now, even though my dad ate a lot, I still learned to eat quite fast. You can’t help but learn that skill if you have a fast eating dad and two other brothers to compete with at the dinner table.

For a while I had an easy job staying at the top of the food chain at my own dinner table. My wife couldn’t cut it and my first daughter, while she started strong, has slowed into a low-level speed eater.

Then came Charlotte. At nearly a year old, I finally have competition and because she has more control over my wife, she gets given the best food before it comes to me. So, essentially, she can eat as much as she wants while I sit back and watch.

And I exaggerate not one little bit when I say Charlotte can eat more than 75 per cent of grown humans. At the meal that inspired this post, she devoured at least two adult sized portions of lasagna. Before anyone else had even sat down to eat. Even once I had finished my one serving of lasagna, I had to watch Charlotte be given helping after helping. “She’s a growing girl Michael,” I’d be told, so I’d lick a little bit more of the sauce I had left at the bottom of the bowl.

When it was all over, I sat there with a grumbling belly and she an orange face and a stomach the size of a grapefruit. I have to give it to her though, she’s less in awe of me than I was of my dad. Perhaps that’s what gives her the upper hand.

So I’ve finally met my true competition, and adversary worth training for. Do you have an eating partner at your table or is the food there for your taking as long as you want it?

Mike is an Ottawa born-and-raised husband and father of two. He’s obsessed with making sure his daughters says ‘daddy and mommy’ and not ‘mommy and daddy’ and with ensuring his daughters know they’re both one-of-a-kind.